Anchor
by CaptainStarlord
Summary: Alexis Rose, daughter to Castiel and anchor to TFW. That's how she preferred it, they needed her and she had promised she would never become a burden. She was their anchor. (Random one-shots of my SPN OC, mainly for writing practice. One-shots will probably be out of order, depends what I feel like writing- Rated T to be safe)
1. Chapter 1

One

Stars swept across the walls in a fluid and gentle motion. The stars were normally calming and offered almost a sleep aid effect. Sure using a small night light that span the stars into your room seemed a little childish. But Alexis Rose had to. She loved space and looking at the stars on a clear night always calmed her. Space led her to Sci-fi which often led her to either Star Wars or Star Trek (more so the latter). Yep, she was still a child at heart dreaming of meeting aliens and soaring through the stars, exploring new worlds and saving galaxies from evil.

Dean would call her a nerd for it (affectionately of course). And Sam would be almost envious that she still managed to keep that dreamer part of herself, but would still never forget to put it on for her before she entered her room after a particularly bad hunt.

It was a go to a lot of time. Alex used it to ease her mind, guide her soul to sleep. She had only had it for a few years. Castiel had given it to her when she moved into the bunker. Understanding it to be customary to give house-warming presents. Alex couldn't help but smile at that.

He was still thoughtful like that, and it something she always appreciated since the first moment she had laid her eyes on him, at a mere age of four. A connection had formed even in that earliest moment. Maybe it was destiny. Or simple parental connection. Castiel was technically her father... well it was complicated... but not inaccurate, in terms of DNA.

A lot had changed over the years since Alex first met the Winchesters. But things had never stayed the same for her for long. She had grown close to them, and was insanely loyal. No matter their mistakes, she promised herself to have their backs. Them and Castiel was all she had. Sure, she had grown close to the others that had drifted into their lives. Bobby... Charlie... Kevin... Jo... Ellen... but they were all gone now.

But that wasn't why she lay conflicted and saddened that very night. The stars weren't easing her thoughts and helping her guide to some sort of slumber. Really, she should be happy. Dean was alive. They had saved Sam from those "British Men of Letters". Castiel had returned from being blasted away. She was glad those she held dear were safe. So why did she feel like this?

Maybe it was how weak she felt. Despite Castiel healing the little wounds she had received from rescuing Sam, she still ached and was struggling to hide her tremors. Technically being a form of Nephilim, Alex had angelic abilities... power. Due to the complicated nature of her creation, Alex had a lot of power hidden deep within herself. Power she used in their fight to make a dent in Amara (along with Crowley and Rowenna). But her body had limits, and still reminded her at her core she was still human. Overuse and using too much power could have disastrous consequences, vary from the minor nose bleeds and the major comas. But this time had been different. The power Alex had unleashed was unlike anything she had tapped into before. It should have killed her, hell even dropped her into a coma. But it didn't. Instead it seemed her powers had left her completely. This wasn't always uncommon for her, at least she had her hunter skills and own personal muscle strength to use.

Not this time. Even that had faded from her. She could muster no strength. In this state, even the simplest fight would be a large struggle. Was her body failing her at last?

The thought of that scared her... although what terrified her was the thought of being useless... a burden. She couldn't do that to the guys. Not with Lucifer out there. They needed her more than ever... and here she was letting them down. As horrible as it sounded, she wished she had slipped into a coma once again. The last one she'd been in luckily didn't last long, but it had almost provided her with an insane power nap. A power nap she would gladly welcome right now.

Not wanting to throw her feelings of despair at anyone other than herself, she retired for an early evening. Partly to hide and partly in avoidance. Not of the Winchester brothers... but of Mary. She hated herself for it.

She was so happy for them. They'd lost Mary so long ago, and now they were getting her back. Sam was finally able to get to know her. And she was amazing, despite being a little lost in this time. Alex could tell she had a noble heart, fierce determination when protecting those she loved and a quick wit. She had been kind to Mary, welcoming her with open arms into the fold.

Mary Winchester, everything about her brought memories of someone else. Her own mother, Melanie. Mary was so much like her, and Alex couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Alex had lost her mother when she was six, also killed by a powerful demon. She missed her every day and would give anything to have her back here. This left her conflicted. On one hand, she was swelling with joy for Sam and Dean to get more time with their beloved mother. But on the other, Alex was swept up with jealously.

It broke her to be so petty about this, she hated it.

Tat-tat.

Alex was swept out her pit of thoughts by the sound of a gentle knock at her door. Already sensing who it was, Alex took a deep sigh.

Not even bothering to move from her lying down position in bed, she called a soft, "Come in."

The door opened swiftly, revealing Castiel as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Hello Alex. I thought I best leave Sam and Dean to spend some time with their mother, they have much to catch up on."

"Good call," Alex mumbled, her eyes still watching the ceiling as the stars continued to rotate around the room.

Castiel knew Alex well enough when to know when she was having a tough time. Concern furrowed his brow as he drifted over to her, standing at her beside.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, fairly bluntly.

"Just peachy, thanks."

His brow furrowed once more, he had been around her and Dean long enough to pick up on sarcasm. And he knew how they could be used a defence mechanisms when someone didn't want to open up. Not waiting for an invitation (not that he really needed one any more), Castiel sat down on the edge of Alex's bed. Blue eyes tried to catch her brown as he looked down at her.

"Alex?" he gentled pressed.

Alex noticing his tone, caught his worried gaze.

"I'm just tired and frustrated that's all," Alex sincerely told him. It wasn't a totally lie. Anyone could clearly see it, so there wasn't much point hiding it. Although it wasn't the whole truth either.

Castiel nodded sombrely and dipped his head. His heart was calling out to help her, but right now he could only offer a question, "Is there anything I could do?"

Her brown eyes blinked a few times in Castiel's caring gaze. She could see the worry, the guilt and the care he poured out to her. Her head dipped, she didn't want to say there was nothing he could do. She knew how much that would sting.

"Just being here is enough. Thank you Cas," she smiled at him warmly.

He nodded with a small smile, but his concern didn't fade. He looked away, clearly wishing there was more he could. Alex shook her head as she pulled herself up into a sitting position. Quickly, she threw her arms around Castiel, hugging her father closely.

"I mean it Cas, thank you." Alex closed her eyes, and let her exhaustion flop out as she buried her head into his shoulder. Castiel was a little taken a back at first, but he sunk into the embrace. Holding his daughter closely, in silently comfort. They both needed this right now. They both needed each other.

"I'll be always be here, Alex."

Alex smiled widely.

"I know."


	2. Chapter 2

_[Recommended by lululillie. Thank you for the review. I could do a lot better, but I've slipped out of writing a lot lately, and damn do I miss it. So I'm trying to get myself back into it. Set just at the end 12x10, so spoilers.. duh)_

 _Also I made a video for Alex too- watch?v=nPvhzbtvn84_

Two

Peeking around the corner, Alexis found herself watching from a distance at the three men she considered family. Right now she didn't know what to feel. Once more, her heart felt conflicted. Her mind floating in a river of doubt and something else she couldn't put her finger on. Maybe it was fear...

They had just returned from stopping Ishim and aiding Lily. It had brought to light some interesting things from Castiel's past.

Particularly heaven's initial feelings on Nephilim, how they were hunted and almost disposed of like trash. While Alex's origins were a quite different and unique, technically she still was a Nephilim herself. And the thought of what Castiel had took part in back then... well she couldn't deny it had shook her a little. Yes it was a different time. Yes he was a solider just following orders. And he was still her father. Despite that it still sat a little uneasily with her. She didn't know where to stand. The guilt was eating away at Cas again over the past, and she wanted nothing more than to support him. It still left her at a bit of a loss.

When she had met Castiel, he was still a solider. And she was a mission. A secretive mission he'd been given from directly up top, only very few angels (if any others) knew about it. He didn't even know in a biological sense that he was her father, let alone that she was a Nephilim. She'd been a mysterious blessing to her mother. Alex still wasn't sure of the meaning of her creation and if God had even had a hand in it himself (it was still cryptic). At this point it made her head hurt thinking about the implications and theories behind her origin.

One thing she knew was that she was a unique being, but it still didn't change that a Nephilim was what she had always been.

Her mind couldn't help but wonder, if he had known back then, would he have considered her an abomination? Maybe he never would have grown to care about her as he did, or been ashamed that he unintentionally had been involved in her creation. The thought pained her. Even now as they discussed Lucifer's child. Sure, she couldn't deny the dangers but Alex was pretty dangerous herself. The child only shared Lucifer's DNA, not necessarily his intentions. In a way, maybe her and the child would have a bit more in common than they thought. Power was difficult to contain, especially in a human form. Maybe there was a chance for this kid, as long as they were kept away from corruption. She hated herself for thinking it, but what if he ruthless despatched of Lucifer's child? Where would that leave her?

She shook her head, even she was unsure about this whole Nephilim business. And if it was a choice between the safety of the world and a child, what would she choose?

"Alex."

Brown eyes blinked, Sam had spotted her with a puzzled look on her face. At the sound of her name, both Dean and Castiel had turned to look at her. Taking a deep breath, Alex tried to make it look as if she hadn't been standing there for an eternity, and had been on her way into the room the whole time.

"Err.. Hey," she mumbled, as she slowly drifted into the room, sitting herself down beside Dean. Her face remained blank, trying to stop her racing thoughts from being visible.

"You alright?" Sam asked, a little concerned.

"I'm good," she lied through her teeth.

There was silence for a moment.

"Do you really think we can find a better way?" Alex piped up after a beat.

They looked at her a initially a little confused.

"With Kelly and Lucifer Jr I mean, will we be able to find a better way?" Alex asked, drifting her gaze away a little guarded.

"You heard all that huh?" Dean questioned, taking a swig from his beer.

Alex nodded, "All of it, actually."

"Alex..." Castiel started.

"A Nephilim's one of the most dangerous beings in all of creation, that's what you said right?" Alex looked Castiel dead in the eyes, her eyes showcasing all her insecurities in a brown pool.

"Yes, that is what I said," Castiel kept his voice monotonous.

Sam caught Alex's eye, "Alex, this business with Lucifer's kid is different right. You're not-"

"Dangerous too? But I'm a Nephilim aren't I? And Nephilim are dangerous."

"You learnt to control what powers you had Alex." Dean chimed in.

"To a degree, I guess. But it still doesn't mean I know what I'm doing with it half the time," Alex shrugged with complete honesty.

Castiel looked at Alex, unsure what to say aside from her name, "Alex.."

Alex took a deep sigh, "I'm sorry, it's just been a difficult day and I know not just for me." She looked at Castiel with gentle sympathy. She knew how hard this had been for Castiel. And while she wasn't surprised another angel had turned out to be an enemy, she still wanted to hold out hope for Castiel. He still wanted to find some belonging with them, and in some respects she understood that. But sometimes she felt like he needed a reminder he had a family here too.

"It's alright Alex, I understand," Castiel nodded sombrely.

Alex felt she didn't deserve the kindness, but she accepted it, rising tenderly to her feet.

"Okay, now that's over with... I'm gonna go murder that leftover pizza in the refrigerator," she said with a spark of humour. Dean and Sam just smirked at her comment, everyone feeling better now that the air was cleared a little.

Before Alex completely left the room, she stopped behind Castiel's seated form, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

"Despite my messy feelings on this, we're still okay, we always will be. And I will always be here for you," Alex gently spoke into his ear, before she left him with a gentle kiss on his head. Castiel turned silently, watching her as she disappeared from sight.

One thing would never change. The bond they shared, it would never fade.


End file.
